Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
