Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
