Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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