It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
