you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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