I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
