You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
