Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
