me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
In America we eat man semen.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
organizing the empties. That sober.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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