well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
