wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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