Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
