ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
