Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
