I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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