he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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