She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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