why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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