I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
