Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
