woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
