and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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