Porn is love you can see.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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