went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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