i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
