I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
