yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
