you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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