I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
