that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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