White coat. Heels.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
