Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
