my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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