dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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