C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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