there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
