awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Who died my cat blue again?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
