I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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