You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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