If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
