i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
