guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
