Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
