we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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