So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
