I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
