I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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