Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So squirting runs in the family.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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