Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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