you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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